Jordan's Stats:
Age: 6 months actual, 2.5 months adjusted
Weight: 10lb 6oz
Whew! We've been at this for 184 days...6 months...half a year! That's insane! Many ask how we do it and my answer remains the same..."God's grace is sufficient." He has given us everything and everyone we need to get through this journey. There are days when I feel like no one understands what we are going through. Like at the end of the day, we are the ones who have to go home without our baby. There is no sense of normalcy...none. Our lives were flipped upside down within 48 hours. We didn't have time to prepare for this. We did everything "right" and still ended up in this situation. These are just a few thoughts that I have daily. But again I say, God's grace is sufficient.
This journey has taught me a lot about myself. My faith has grown tremendously and many things just have a new meaning. I now know what it truly means to take things "one day at a time". I'm such a planner and this whole ordeal has thrown me for a loop. You mean you can't give me deadlines? Timelines? A schedule of events? LOL!! (Just my style). I have little chats with God all throughout the day. I have learned to tell him exactly what I need, but also ask that His will be done. That's really hard because I always struggle with my will vs His will. What if they don't align? That's a rhetorical question. I often picture this scenario in my head. It may seem silly, but it gets me through. I cry out to God. While holding a coffee cup (because I love coffee, duh!) He pours me a little grace and adds a dash of strength. He pours me just enough to get through each day, sometimes just enough for the next hour. I thank Him for what He's done and we start over the next day. I ask, He pours. You see the pattern? My cup runneth over! I'm reminded of a hymn we use to sing, "He'll pour you out a blessing...you won't have room to receive". So even on the toughest days I rest in the fact that I KNOW God's grace is sufficient. There's never been a day that I felt like God left us...never.
Ok enough about me. Half of you have stopped reading because you came here to read an update on Jordan LOL! But, I needed to share that with you.
There are many things about Jordan that I have yet to share and I'm certain that's why many of you wonder why he's still hospitalized. Here we go: Jordan was born extremely premature (25 weeks). Not only was he premature, but he extremely small for a 25 weeker...he was approximately the size of maybe a 21-22 weeker. Crazy, right? So taking all of that into consideration, we can assume that his lungs were severely underdeveloped. Immediately after birth, he was placed on a ventilator to assist him in breathing. The vent is a blessing and a curse, as it damaged his already premature lungs ...but, he needed the support. See? Nothing is black and white ::sigh:: So right now Jordan's lungs are healing. Yes, they've healed a bit, but they still have a ways to go. When I really think about it, I'm like wow..6 months is actually a short amount of time when you look at everything he's been through. I'd still be recovering too! Oh, and let's not forget he had a heart surgery when he was only 3 lbs! My baby is a true fighter and we could not be more proud! We've had meetings with our neonatologist, pulmonologist & cardiologist. No matter how many questions we have, the answer is still the same ...time & good nutrition. THAT is what Jordan needs. The more he grows, the more his lungs will grow. I'm sure you're saying well he's 10lbs! Yes, he is quite the chunk, but he has to keep growing. The good thing is, he is progressing...and that's what matters most. It's hard to [not] focus on the time, but we have to remember how far he's come. Many did not expect Jordan to make it through delivery, or the first night...but God! He had a very rocky few weeks and a very tough recovery after surgery...but God. So even though we want our baby boy home, we have to be patient. (I'm secretly rolling my eyes because patience is not my strong area)....but what other choice do we have? I have to tell myself "If you were 1lb 1oz you would still need a little oxygen support too!" So where do we go from here? We wait. We give him the oxygen he needs while his lungs continue to grow. We don't know how long it's going to take and we certainly don't want to rush him. We know what steps he has to take to come home, but we have absolutely no idea how long that will take. I wish I could say that he's coming home on September 24th at 12:30pm LOL but no one knows. So yes I cringe a little bit inside everytime I'm asked but please know that we honestly do not know. Every baby is different and every day in the NICU is different.
Thank you for your constant prayers and your support. God speaks to many of you because on the toughest days I'll receive an uplifting text...thank you! Please continue to pray that Jordan's lungs get stronger by the day so we can decrease his oxygen support. I also ask that you pray that his heart continues to function the way it's suppose to. Lastly, I ask that you pray for our strength...mama and daddy are still adjusting to this new normal. Thanks so much! We love y'all!
Love,
Joey, NaToya and Jordan Sanders
