11 Months

My Dearest Jordan, 

Today you would be 11 months old. I can barely wrap my head around the fact that your 1st birthday is rapidly approaching. The past [almost] 3 months have been so hard. I miss your smile, your attitude, the way you snuggled under mommy, the way you smiled when ONLY mommy kissed your stinky feet and stinky neck. I miss the way you completely disregarded me when your daddy came...but hey, no hard feelings. I know you are resting (or cutting up) in the arms of our Heavenly Father, however that doesn't take the pain away. In just 8 short months you changed me and everyone you came in contact with. Baby boy, medical professionals said you changed the way they looked at their job---at medicine---that's huge!! God used you to spread love, joy, and to simply show others that God is real and He does perform miracles. Although I would give my entire life to have you here with us, I still thank God for allowing us to witness a miracle. I pleaded with God. I asked Him to heal you on Earth, not in Heaven. I'm not completely proud of that, but you're my baby and I am human. I was not ready to let go. But, just because He didn't, doesn't mean He can't. So even though we weep, we rejoice because you made a decision to rest. You didn't give up, nor did you "lose" a battle. You won baby and mommy is SO proud! Continue to watch over us. I promise your legacy lives on. 

I'll love you forever

I'll like you for always 

As long as I'm living 

My Jordan you'll be. 

Rest on baby boy---mommy loves you. 

-Mama